So, you’re thinking about trying therapy. Maybe you’ve been feeling a little off lately, or someone you know swears by it and you're curious. But if you're new to the whole idea, the thought of sitting in a room (or on Zoom) with a therapist might seem...well, awkward. What do you talk about in therapy? Are you supposed to lie down on a couch and pour out your deepest secrets, like in the movies? Do you need a specific problem? Or do you just rant about how your neighbor never picks up their dog’s poop (we’ve all been there)? Don’t worry—I’ve got you covered.
First Things First: There’s No “Right” Way to Do Therapy
Let’s just get this out of the way: there’s no rulebook for what to talk about in therapy. Seriously. If it’s on your mind, it’s fair game. A lot of people think they need a huge life crisis to justify talking to a therapist, but that’s not true. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by work, processing childhood stuff, or simply wondering why you always end up scrolling TikTok at 2 a.m. instead of sleeping, it all counts.The real question is: Could you benefit from having a designated space to talk about things that are going on and gain support or a new way of looking at things? I think for most people, the answer to that question is “Yes!”
There’s a great quote from marriage and family therapist, Sol Rapoport, who tells clients to “think of their therapy time as the ‘Room of Requirement’ from Harry Potter - you get out of it whatever you are most needing that day” (Marie, 2024).
Therapy Is a Judgment-Free Zone (Promise)
One of the biggest fears people have is the worry that they’ll be judged. What if my therapist thinks I’m weird? What if I say the wrong thing? The thing is, while you’re trying to decide what to talk about in therapy, your therapist has heard it all. Therapists are there to support you, not to sit there with a notepad, secretly thinking, “Wow, this person is a hot mess.” They’re trained to listen, offer insight, and help you work through whatever’s going on without judgment.
Therapists often ask thoughtful questions to encourage clients to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, helping them explore patterns they may not have noticed. They may offer alternative interpretations or gently point out actions that seem out of sync with a client’s stated goals. This isn’t about judgment—therapists aren’t there to tell you what’s right or wrong—but rather to help you gain clarity and consider new perspectives. By asking, “What do you think about this?” therapists invite you to reflect on those discrepancies and decide for yourself what changes, if any, align with your personal growth.
But Really, What Can I Talk About in Therapy?
Honestly, you can talk about anything. But if you’re still stuck on where to begin, here are a few ideas on what to talk about in therapy:
Stress & Anxiety: Life can be a lot. Work stress, social anxiety, or that pit-in-your-stomach feeling that shows up for no particular reason—it’s all worth talking about. Even if you feel like it’s “not a big deal,” therapy is a great place to unload.
Relationships: Romantic relationships, friendships, family dynamics, or even your relationship with yourself. If you’re struggling to communicate with your partner, feel hurt by a friend, or find family gatherings overwhelming, it’s all fair game.
Life Transitions: New job? Moving? Graduating? Becoming a parent? Life is full of changes, and while some are exciting, they can also be pretty stressful. Therapy can help you navigate these shifts, even the ones you’re “supposed to” feel happy about.
Past Trauma: Whether it’s a significant trauma or something that’s stuck with you for years, therapy provides a safe space to process and heal. You can take it slow, and you never have to share more than you’re comfortable with.
Goals & Personal Growth: Therapy isn’t just for when things are falling apart. Maybe you’re feeling pretty good but want to understand yourself better, set personal goals, or figure out why you procrastinate like it’s an Olympic sport. Therapy can help you grow in ways you didn’t even know you needed. This kind of personal exploration is exactly what to talk about in therapy.
Feeling Stuck: Sometimes, the thing on your mind is the fact that...well, nothing’s on your mind. You just feel stuck, like life’s on repeat and you’re not sure how to break the cycle. That’s a perfect therapy topic!
Grief & Loss: Whether you’re grieving a loved one, a relationship, or even a version of yourself you’re trying to let go of, therapy is a place to process loss in all its forms.
You Can Even Start With “I Don’t Know What to Talk About”
This is probably the most underrated conversation starter in therapy. Saying, “I’m not sure where to begin,” is a perfectly valid way to kick off a session. A good therapist will help you figure out what to talk about in therapy, and sometimes those “I don’t know” moments lead to the most insightful conversations.
It’s Okay to Be Nervous (Really!)
It’s totally normal to feel nervous before your first session. Heck, even seasoned therapy-goers feel that way sometimes. Remember, you’re not there to perform. Therapy is about you—your thoughts, your experiences, your feelings—and there’s no “right way” to do it. Think of it as a conversation where you get to be 100% honest without worrying about being judged. And if you end up venting about your neighbor's dog? That’s fine too!
A Quick Word About Humor
Therapy isn’t all tears and deep emotional work (though there might be some of that too). Humor can show up in sessions, and it can actually be a great tool for connection and insight. Don’t feel like you have to be “serious” all the time. If laughing about your awkward middle school days or sharing a funny story from work helps lighten the mood, go for it.
In Summary: Talk About Whatever’s on Your Mind
Therapy is your space. There’s no “should” when it comes to what to talk about in therapy. If it matters to you, it matters to therapy. And if you’re not sure where to start, just start somewhere—you’ll figure out the rest as you go. So, take a deep breath, embrace the awkwardness (it fades, I promise), and know that you’re doing something really positive for yourself.
And hey, worst-case scenario? You get an hour of uninterrupted time to talk about how you feel. Not too bad, right?
If you're feeling a little more comfortable, or at least a little curious,
go ahead and take that first step.
You’ve got nothing to lose except maybe a few nervous butterflies!
Reference
Marie, S. (2024, March 11). What to talk about in therapy. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/what-to-talk-about-in-therapy